Shit…

I realize I haven’t been on much, life is busy. However, last night’s election has definitely made things more anxiety filled. I have a post on Accidentally gay I wrote about. I am going to crosspost it here.

I am sure this is only the first of many posts dealing with the results of the elections this year (2016). I had several articles/posts ready to be worked on but after last night I figured I should get my initial thoughts and feelings out for posterity.

Yep, its like that.
Yep, its like that.

I am not too surprised at what happened. Of course I am hurt that a sexist, racist, homophobic and xenophobic person was elected, but not surprised. I have spent a lot of time traveling over the last two years to the southern states and it was there I saw this in action the most, but I have seen it locally as well.

Don’t get me wrong, there was more than just the sexism, racism, bigotry and homophobia that was the cause for his election as president. People are angry, they want real change. Sadly I don’t think they are going to get the change they really want from a rich guy who has been bankrupt four times. People are reaching to make something great, when it was never great in that way.

After I watched the election results roll in, I felt like I was punched in the gut though, not because of all the slew of liberal/progressive issues I am in favor of, but for the safety of Wolsey. The first thing I thought about was his safety.

We fortunately live in a very very blue area, but this election has not only shown we haven’t progressed as a society as far as I had hoped, but there will be those that will take this as a sign to attack verbally, physically, legally anyone that doesn’t believe like they do.

I am suspecting there will be an increase in attacks on the LGBTQA community, even in my blue area. I don’t worry about myself. I am a big guy, most people leave me alone anyways, and even if they don’t it isn’t much of a worry. I worry a lot about my husband though. Not that he isn’t tough, but he is the person I love most in this world. I don’t want to see him in pain. This includes emotional pain from the hatred that this election is spewing forth towards everyone, especially transgender individuals.

I suspect I will be writing a lot, which is a good thing for me anyways, but I wish it was for other reasons.

I guess we get to live in “interesting times”. Personally I would rather live in boring, safe and happy times.

Blue Lives What?

freedmanstreetcops1First, I need to say I feel badly for the two cops executed and their families. That is a horrendous thing that should never have happened. Most cops are good, (although I won’t call a cop good if they are in the same department and don’t point a finger at the bad cops) and I assume these specific cops did not deserve it.

However, I see this trend on several social media sites were people (usually white middle class or above) are ranting that they “better see some protests now” for the cops, as if this is the same thing as what happened to Eric Garner or Mike Brown. I am sorry but your white privilege blinders are showing.

It is by no means the same thing. 

Cops have access to their own powers of law (arresting people, killing people, etc) but in addition to this they have the entire societal, court and government systems behind them. You can be guaranteed that any cop beat up, let alone killed will have the person accused of doing that indicted for a crime. The cops have the power, they not only have it, they ARE it.

The reason for the protests is because minorities do not have any recourse. They don’t have the power to arrest someone who victimized them, they don’t even have the power to stop from being victimized. They especially don’t have the ability to stop being victimized by those with power (aka COPS). A minority group member is unlikely to have the victimizer be indicted or charged, especially if that victimizer is a cop.

The idea of protesting is to underline that power imbalance and to protest it. It is to bring to the people in charge, that everyone else isn’t being treated “equal”. It is to protest the victimization of minorities who daily have to worry how someone in power (e.g. a cop) is going to treat them.

This is why there are no protests to underline the power imbalance for cops, because they are the power imbalance. Cops don’t need attention or support, they already can do what they want.

The whole switching #BlackLivesMatter to that stupid Blue Lives Matter (no I won’t actually hashtag it) just shows the complete misunderstanding that both the cops and the white media have of the situation.

End Day 2 in Atlanta

opinionYesterday wrapped up pretty well. The schooling was long, and not very effective, but the first day of this type of training is often like that. The people are nice enough, the trainers are working hard.

Got home and worked out on a cardio bike for 20 minutes, then a 30 minute upper body workout (the new app I have turns out to kind of suck, so going with a different program). The workout room here is a lot worse then the one at our apartment complex (mostly just cardio and a few free weights) so I doubt I will get much working out here.

A friend pointed out that it is election time (which I forgot, we just get our mail in ballot and do research from there, we don’t watch tv) after I talked about the horror of the political ads here. Almost every ad isn’t about the issues, but about either illegal immigrants are taking all the jobs, or that Obama’s “horrible laws” will be upheld if they don’t vote in or out certain candidates. The worst part is people freaking about Obamacare!!!!! (yes the exclamation points are needed). It is obvious no one has ever researched the Affordable Healthcare Act.

In fact I was talking with a group and they were against Obamacare, I asked about if they read it and they said no. Not even two minutes later they were bitching about health insurance companies and the fact that medicaid wasn’t expanded. Then several of them were bitching about feminists and the gays (and yes, “the gays” is how they referred to it). I quickly retracted myself from the situation.

Now, I complain a lot about here, but I did watch something on their news I have to take my hat off to. Evidently a guy ran his car into a group of people (including a cop). It wasn’t until he hit the cop that the cop fired a single shot at him. If this was in Seattle, the police department would have shot the wrong person 22 times, then charged that person’s family for the bullets. At least at this point it seems like Georgia police are less likely to just shoot people (although that could be wrong, I have only been here two days).

Morning of Day 2 in Atlanta

Couch, desk, tv and bed, not bad for a hotel room.
Couch, desk, tv and bed, not bad for a hotel room.

Here I am trying to wake up to go to my first day of schooling (for two weeks of training for my new job). I am back in Atlanta, and as a side note for people who don’t know, I live in the Pacific NW, I got in Sunday evening and was way too tired to post then. My goal though is to post constantly while I am here, I slacked last time.

First, I have to say everyone in the airport and at the hotel have been incredibly nice. I realize they are service workers and that is what they get paid for, but the whole Southern Hospitality schtick seems to hold up so far.

The hotel room itself is actually really nice. I have a couch, coffee table, a nice bed, tv and a small moveable desk if I need. It is excellent for a two week stay. The only disappointment is the hotel doesn’t have microwaves in the rooms (wtf is up with that? Every motel 6 I have stayed at in the past had one, this is a higher grade hotel). So this is another pro compared to last time, this hotel is definitely a better grade.

Walmart was once again a nightmare though. I thought maybe last time I was here the Walmart food area was just overwhelmed but it seems to be a derelict of empty shelves at all times. The customers though are nicer here then in the Pacific NW. They smile more and say hi when they pass by.

The shuttle driver and service is also already a lot better then last time as well. He shows up when he says he will and doesn’t act like its the end of the world. So far so good.

There has only been two cons so far!

The first is our internet SUCKS!!! We get this 128k type internet (I am sure it is faster but doesn’t feel like it) and you have to pay an additional $6 a day if you want full speed. I am sure our agency paid for full internet so I will have to look into that.

The media… what was I thinking when I turned on the tv and they had a commercial that Georgia has a million new jobs! Yet ALL of those million new jobs went to THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, and that WE MUST TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY.

Ahh conservatives in the South are “still keeping it real”, it is nice you are so reliable in your outlook. I am a little more aware of things this time, so I can watch a bit closer on how different from where I am from, maybe I can be a little more discerning, but as a person in a same-sex marriage with alternate (read liberal) ideas I definitely feel out of my realm.

It doesn’t help I work a white collar job with the vast majority of people who have middle class or higher privilege and are straight/conservative. This just magnifies things. Also I do realize I have my own biases, and I suspect I will never move those biases as well (pro-working class and lower economic levels, pro alternate lifestyles, anti “traditional” outlooks).

Don’t worry, I am already seeing more stuff to write up, you will get a lot of stuff in the  next two weeks.

Passing and Sexism

jellocar
Jello’s 2012 Kia. He was so excited to get it.

Today we had to buy a certified Kia for Jello. He got a temp job and needs to get to it. While we were getting the car however, an awkward situation arose.

We were in the car when the salesman (a young kid) was talking about taking other people out on test drives. Jello was driving, he was in the passenger seat and I was in the back. The guy started joking that when he takes women out driving how horrible they were as drivers.

This absolutely horrified me. I have never thought differently about a woman driving, and I don’t understand why stupid assholes think that way. This is probably due to Jello being the first person who could drive decently in our group of friends when I was a teen. Jay and Warren, the other people who drove cars were absolutely horrible drivers, but Jello was always good (and at the time presenting as a woman), so maybe I never made that sexist connection.

Jello and I met eyes in the rear-view mirror. It was incredibly misogynistic/sexist and we were both horrified by that. On the other hand, it meant that Jello had passed 100% in close proximity with the guy. This pleased me greatly, I know he has been passing more and more. Now if we can only get his top surgery.

So it ended up being an incredibly awkward, but rewarding situation. I feel torn about it, both unhappy with the sexist comments, but overjoyed for Jello.

Oh, and this is cross-posted to Accidentally Gay.

Miley Cyrus Debacle

I am sad to see all the hate lumped onto Miley Cyrus. She is an adult woman and she did what she wanted to do (I am making the assumption that it was her choice and she wasn’t pressured since no evidence to the contrary has surfaced).

Do I think that behavior dumb, sure I do. Do I like Miley Cyrus? Not at all. However, everyone keeps wanting to take away her own agency on the choices she makes. She did nothing illegal, she harmed nobody, and that is that.

It is a non-story, it really isn’t anyone’s business. I have seen a specific blog post running around Facebook, a parent telling their daughter how they would stop them from doing this.

Take for example this quote from the blog:

“I will smack any male whom you decide to smash against his pelvis – after I first knock you on your butt for forgetting how a lady acts in public.”

She is an adult, the parent needs to sit down and shut up and let her live her own life.

What I hate most is I feel I have to defend someone I dislike, because people are dog-piling and making an issue when there is none. Damn you all for making me defend Miley Cyrus.

How come I don’t see people screaming about the chemical attacks in Syria, or about our poor dying without insurance, nope our society has become so shallow and sad that the fact that Miley Cyrus was dancing in a provocative way makes the headlines.
I weep for the world.

Oh, and she is not a possession of her dad’s, so it doesn’t matter if it “betrays him” she is an adult woman.

http://roadkillgoldfish.com/2013/08/26/dear-daughter-let-miley-cyrus-be-a-lesson-to-you/

White Male Privilege

I know that I haven’t updated much and it drives me nuts. But for over a year now I wanted to start a blog about my learning about racism/sexism/all the isms that don’t have to do with the white male privilege that I am the recipient of.

I plan to do some blogging on my learning experiences with people/groups that are not benefiting from the white male privilege I have. It originally was purely about feminism, but I realized there is so much more.

It’s not going to be a huge thing, I just wanted to document what I learn, my views on certain subjects, and maybe get to know myself better in that context here: http://manlearninglife.wordpress.com/