Update 1 – Burial Plots

Yesterday went well, got to see my dad and help take care of him a little. My sister and brother are really working hard at helping them as well.

We purchased the burial plots. Honestly they are really nice and in the older part of the cemetery near a lot of the large maple trees. I will post photos after I go up next.

The plots ran $3,428. It was expected and worked out fine. I had enough on my credit card to pay for it for now. The one thing I was not expecting is you can bury 5 cremations on top of the casket so each grave could hold up to 10 people if 8 of them wanted to be cremated (which funny enough is what my spouse and I would prefer). It means though that I can take care of any family, friends or others that want to be cremated.

I am trying to avoid pulling any money from here until he passes. The grave liner and opening/closing the grave fee is about $1,600 in addition to the burial plots (and the funeral services will probably be close to $4k) and I am hoping to not have to withdraw the donations until that point in time.

I don’t think I can thank people enough. The outpouring of not only financial but emotional support has been huge. I don’t even know what to say about it except we are touched.

Thank you for everything. I have attached the picture of the purchase. I think it is incredibly important that people see exactly where the money went and what it was for. I realize most people do not do this (and it probably isn’t needed) but I always want to make sure people know what is exactly happening when they have been this kind to us.

Overwhelmed with support

Lovely husband's magic egg!

I don’t know how to thank everyone. The response has been overwhelming. I know that the GoFundMe page posted an update, but I will post it separately as well just to thank all of you!

We got up this morning and were overwhelmed with the help. None of us really know what to say except thank you. Anything helps, and just the outpouring of support has made this easier. I am going up today to visit with my father and to take my mother to Bayview Cemetery to look at plots. I will come back and post what we looked at and what we got.

On a humorous note concerning my father (is there really anything humorous right now, I guess only a Bradley finds it funny). My sister was in the apartment watching over him.

She was in the living room and he was in the bedroom and she heard a thump. She was worried he fell out of bed and went into the bedroom to find him standing there (he has been bed ridden since Friday before (4 days before). She shrieked and evidently he burst out laughing, thinking it was the funniest thing he saw that she screamed and was worried about a zombie for a few seconds. He spent the rest of the day in the living room, eating a couple pieces of candy corn and having a cup of coffee.

It doesn’t change what is happening, and I don’t know if he is conscious this morning, but in my dad’s typical style he never does anything the easy way. Even as he is dying, he is still doing it on his own terms.

When I pull any funds out I will share exactly where they went. I believe I owe everyone here so much, the least I can do is be exact on where the generosity I am seeing here goes.

I don’t know if I could ever explain exactly how overwhelmed (in a positive way) that we feel with the love exhibited by friends, family and future friends/family (no one who helps is truly a stranger).

Thank you.

https://www.gofundme.com/9jnpq2xj

Only if you can spare it.

Hi Folks, I need some help. My father’s imminent passing has us cornered. He doesn’t have any funeral insurance (or life insurance at all) and Social Security only provides $255. We are trying to swing for payment of his funeral (plot, etc) plus the plot for my mom so when she passes she can be buried next to him.

If we could get any help, we’d be very appreciative.

I want everyone to understand I absolutely HATE doing this. There is a reason I avoided help for Wolsey’s surgery (we were able to harangue the money in the end). However, as is the norm, my dad’s timing sucks and this is happening just as we paid out for Wolsey’s surgery last week.

1. By no means do I expect anyone to help. This is just in case someone does want to help. You all have been great and I already feel crappy even asking.

2. Do not feel bad if you don’t help. There isn’t any reason for you to feel bad. Sometimes shit happens, and we roll with it.

3. Some people don’t like gofundme (and I don’t blame them). If you want to still help I am ok with taking anything in person or by mail/paypal/whatever.

4. This is the most important part. Just having you folks be so warm helps a lot. This will get figured out, no matter what, I will make it work.

I want to thank everyone for how supportive they have been. That alone leaves me and my family walking away on top.

Thank you for everything.

If you can help, please see our GoFundMe (https://www.gofundme.com/9jnpq2xj) page, or contact me directly.

Oh, and I am intentionally not posting this on Accidentally Gay. It isn’t fair for me to ask for help on a site specifically for a different purpose (thank you to those who suggest, I just don’t think it is fair of me).

Why the hate?

This morning I was reading an article about the idea of reducing the work week from 45+ hours a week down to 30. The idea is it would be healthier for employees and allow for a more well balanced work/life experience.

This is all stuff that is fairly straight forward and has been proven in many many studies. Stress and work anxiety is a huge reason for health issues (including cancer), it is also responsible for incredibly stress between partners and family members, almost as much as money is a problem.

All of this seems pretty logical to me. Personally once we get our credit cards paid off when Jello graduates, this might be a great thing to do. We could easily live off 30 hours each and still have a savings.

What caught me off guard was the vitriol that the commenters went on about. How it was only for lazy people, how it would destroy business, etc. Not even addressing the fact that there are countries where this is the norm and it hasn’t destroyed them. I keep wondering why the anger and taking it personally? It just seems weird that people would be so vitriolic.

Do they feel it invalidates the whole idea of consumerism? Does it put to question our desire to chain ourselves to more than a quarter of a million dollars of debt for something we don’t actually own until we pay it off? I have rants about those as well, but honestly I won’t go into that here, they deserve their own posts.

Then again, I know I get push back from possible employers because I don’t want to work 55 hour weeks as a norm (or even 45 hours). I personally would rather get paid less and work a max of 40 hours a week (and honestly once Jello is out of school I would be down for 32).

Does this make me lazy? No I don’t think so, but it does make me different then most of the commenters evidently.

Anxiety

Woke up early today (but not nearly as early as the rest of the week) a little anxious about the work situation. We are fine with the unemployment, even still have a little in savings, but the string of interviews that haven’t gone anywhere just bugs me.

Now, I completely realize that mid level government jobs are harder to get into, and the fact that I have a 60% interviewing rate with them does reassure me I am not horrible in the eyes of employers. However, I am not used to it. Before getting into this profession I would have a job within two weeks of being unemployed (not necessarily a job I really want, but something). The problem is professional jobs, and more especially government jobs are slow to get, and with the shutdown/budget crises it is fairly hard to get a job. I will eventually get on, but until then I am starting my look at other options.

I have started putting apps out at other non-governmental businesses. I suspect I will get interviews fairly quick. I am going down to the local Robert Half office on Friday. They want me to come in and work for Robert Half (basically a head hunter/placement service/ temp service for accounting professionals). They offer benefits, medical, etc and the person signs up for contracts that are generally between six months and a year between jobs. So it is definitely an option and I think I need to look at it.

I am not sure this is the direction I will permanently want to go, but the timing is sort of good. Wolsey graduates in June (or August if classes don’t work like we hope), that gives me 9-11 months before he is out working. If I am temping like this, he can get whatever job he wants, wherever he wants. This means we can move down to Vancouver, Portland, Seattle, anywhere since I don’t have a job I would consider permanent. So maybe its the perfect setup.

Overall, I think today I am just whining that I am not working at the moment. We are doing well financially considering the situation. I have a great wife, family and overall things are doing well. So maybe I should wrap this up with a “Hell Ya!” 🙂