The last couple of weeks have been hard. Last Saturday was the one year anniversary of my father passing away and tomorrow is the anniversary of the funeral. Work has been super busy, deadlines coming up and I have turned down taking days off to keep on track… only to have my boss take the week off.

I finally have felt like I wanted to write more, lately I have been having memories of childhood and early adulthood experiences and I am worried about forgetting it. I am getting older (heading on to 46 soon) and I don’t want to lose the memories permanently.

Good news is we turned our book in for the accidentally gay blog. We are waiting to hear back, hopefully it will be soon.

One of the good things that have come out of this is learning how to organize a book. I have always wanted to write some sort of memoir (don’t worry I don’t think I will ever get money for it, not that big headed yet). My memories come in spurts though. So I think now I am just going to write up memories into this blog. I will also start a page and divide the page up between portions of my life (childhood, high school, early marriage, late marriage, etc). On that page I will track the different posts I do so I can build up an outline of my life.

Once that outline gets complete enough, maybe I will put it together.

I have a few other writing projects as well, along with some photography so we will see what will happen. As for photography itself we have been to a couple of different events, I will post galleries later ūüôā

Well that is it, talk later folks.

Meatloaf Experience Part 1

This is an abbreviated version, with how annoyed I am, I am sure I will post more on each detail in the future. I am going to break it up into readable parts though.

Background: First, as a bit of background I have grown up to the tunes of Meat Loaf. Yes, I like him, yes he does cause anxiety when I hear his music on occasion. He is a favorite singer my parents listened to, especially when they were on a full drunk binge. So while I like his music (a lot), it does give me a bit of hesitation to consider going to see him. However, I really do like his music.

Prologue:¬†About a month ago my brother asked me to go see Meat Loaf. I¬†explained I¬†wasn’t too sure due to money and the fact it was the weekend before Dying Light (combined with J and T’s wedding and them coming up the weekend before that and the DL¬†before that I¬†wont have a full weekend off in a month). So I¬†declined. I then get a call a week later from my parents. They were on a binge (its a lot rarer these days but it does still happen, at least my dad doesn’t go beat the crap out of cops anymore).¬† I¬†got a full night of calls from them pleading with me to go with my Brother and my Sister to see Meat Loaf, to do it “for them” since they aren’t able to go due to health reasons. I¬†eventually said fine. Now, I¬†am fine with seeing Meat Loaf, but I¬†knew then this wouldn’t end pretty and due to family guilt I¬†was trapped. However,¬†[ profile] ethicalcannibal¬†avoided the situation and said no, however poor¬†[ profile] finnegwyn¬†decided to come as moral support for me.

Event 1:¬†About two weeks ago we discover its more than the siblings and one friend/significant other. Another friend of my brother decides to come. We all hesitate, but fine, my brother’s friend has been around my family for 15 years and we know him so its good. Then about a week ago my brother’s friend’s girlfriend decides to come. Even more uncomfortable but fine. Then 4 days ago we find out that my brother’s GF has decided to ship all six of them from¬†Bellingham (the concert is in Snoqualmie, 120 miles from Bellingham, 50 miles from Everett). The plan is to meet at my house, go to IHOP¬†then head out.


Event 2:¬†I¬†am waiting with¬†[ profile] ethicalcannibal¬†for my family to arrive. Of course my wife isn’t going, but we are hanging.¬†[ profile] talkswithwind¬†shows up to start working on boffer weapons (YAY!!). Finally¬†[ profile] finnegwyn¬†shows up. I¬†find out my family is running late and so I¬†am a bit anxious. I¬†get a call at 2pm (the time they are supposed to be here)¬†from my sister. Evidently my brother’s girlfriend had rear-ended a suburban. No one was hurt, but the Taurus wasn’t drivable. I¬†go and ferry all six people to my house (it happened at exit 198, about 8 miles from my house)¬†in two loads.¬†

I should have stopped the whole situation here. There are nine people going, and only my car. I¬†shouldn’t have even allowed discussion on options. If I have learned something vital from this situation, its to not keep quiet. For the next two hours there is a weird on again/off again discussion of if we are going to drive them back to Bellingham or try to keep going to the concert. This included the idea that my brother’s friend’s girlfriend would go up to Bellingham, get her car, drive down and help haul everyone to the concert. When the concert was over we would both transport everyone to my house and then she would make two trips to Bellingham to drop everyone off. Something sounded off about this and more talk continued.¬†

I¬†do set up my brother and his girlfriend with my Triple AAA so they can tow the car back. The plan (after considering rentals, even of renting an U-Haul passenger van) was that two people would ride back with the Tow Truck driver, 1 would ride back with¬†[ profile] talkswithwind¬†and the rest with me.This seems to be the decision and from what I¬†can see probably the best decision. Maybe we would go see “The Expendables” when we got up there.¬†


Yet…. as can be seen by the title, that was not the final bit (will continue on another post, so I¬†don’t kill you with too much text).

Sunday Update


I woke up this morning, and had a wonderful view of the sunshine. I wish I had a better camera, I think I really might love getting into photography, unfortunately this didn't catch how beautiful it was, but its a start.

This week has been hectic. I have only seen my wife  for two days up until the weekend. I spent most of my time working on the  magic rules for shadowrun as detailed in  . On Friday the dell technician was supposed to show up to fix my PC, but he no-showed so maybe he will show up Tuesday. The good news is that my PC is still under warranty (will need new MB and RAM), this means I do not have to get a macbookpro so quickly (will still want one).

Saturday we spent the day visiting my mother, her fourth of 18 weeks of chemo. It was rough on her, but it wasn't the chemo, it was the shot they gave her to keep her platlets up so she can keep taking the chemo. I baked her a peach custard pie (which I am going to have to post here) and sat with my parents for a couple hours. This week I also worked out a whole bunch. Our trainer ran us hard Wednesday, and then yesterday was even more intense. We worked for a half an hour on chest presses, bench presses, incline bench presses, decline bench presses. True, my capability is not what I would like, but he worked us hard. Then he worked us out for 30 minutes in the pool, swimming laps, crunches, water sprints. That truly was the ass kicker of the week, however it made me feel great (albeit tired). I think I am going to go swim laps starting later this week on top of weight lifting. I had not realized how much it hurt to do a single lap, that will definitely be a good overall workout.

I only have 7 more working days before I am done with Sultan. Then its one week at Everett, then two days in Olympia for training (and I am taking  with me, two days in a hotel with a pool). Then back to the city and county courthouses for another week. After that it will be three weeks of Coupeville over by Oak Harbor. That will suck, a 1.5-2 hour commute each way. The good thing is I will gain 2 hours of "exchange time" each day. By the end of three weeks I will have gained an extra 30 hours of basically vacation time. Well better get ready for the game, I will follow up with an after-game update tonight.


Well this wasn't the update I wanted to post, but its funny how things happen so close together.

First let me say I know my family loves me, I love them, but they are by far one of the most dysfunctional groups I have ever known. Lets give you a brief recap of my family before I vent.
Parents: Father is a Vietnam Vet with a long prison/police record for violence(but for the record never sexual/physicall abused us, and the name calling only happend when he was drunk). In my early life he worked constantly and did well, my last 20 years or so he became unfortunately a raging alcoholic who after getting put away for a DUI has been sober (from alcohol) for over 2 years. My mother is a sweetheart, never did anything bad except a constant habit of asking for stuff from me, but thats easily satisfied, she has been a good mother albeit now she has diabetes and had a heart attack last summer (but the doctors were surprised no damage and they dont think she will have any more problems, and this was a serious only 20% live heart attack she had). Unfortunatley my parents have done/sold/excessed every drug known to man.
Sister: Loves me, I know it, has two kids (one feral one not, the not one I am sure will be gay when he is 16). Followed my parents footsteps, is an alcoholic, cant keep a job and really only calls me for help.
Brother: Same as sister except he sometimes shows remarkable clarity and wants to clean his life up, biggest problem is he is a lazy ass who doesn't like to work.
By the way, in the 17 years I have worked on my own, I have never ever once asked my siblings for a dime, a ride or anything. NOT EVER. (and actually I have loaned my parents money 20 times more then I have ever gotten from them and same with rides/etc). Thats why this is so frustrating.
There is more about the family, but I realized that would take up way too much space.
So this morning I get up super early, my mom asked me to give her a ride over to the Salvation Army so they can pick up a chair, no problems, I don't mind doing that at all. So I get up super early, call them at the time I am supposed to be there because I have this sinking feeling that they are on a "run" (non alcoholic, but on other things, not meth though). My dad answeres the phone and immediately I know they are jagged and not going. He kinda rambles on about not needing me today and I quickly get off the phone because I hate talking to him when he is ramped up. My mom is asleep and she called later, everything is cool. So I got up early for nothing (albeit I have been working on MU's backend and its going to fucking rock). 
Ten minutes later I get a call from my sister. I was surprised and hopeful she just wanted to say hi. I should have known, her first words were, "Can I borrow $20 until tommorrow". I normally would probably do it, she is good at paying back usually but I am broke. I told her so and she accepted it gracefully but I could tell she didn't believe I was broke, so this frustrated me even more.
Five minutes after that I get a call from my brother. His first words are "What you doing today?" I explained that I am going to work (and I have a feeling he is going to ask for something). His next words are he needs me to come over and fix his computer. I tell him I would be happy to do that but it might be Saturday before I can come over (tonight when I get home from work I have to spend with wifey since she is off) and I am not sure if I will be able to make it over there later (he constantly nags me to give him things, fix his computer, etc and I just wasn't sure when I wanted to commit to going over there since thats all he usually wants from me). He has a fit and asks why cant I come over there after work tonight, I try to explain but he is still having a cow. I ask him "are you paying me to do this?" because now I am feeling taken advantage of, and he starts throwing a bigger hissy fit. Now after the previous two phone calls and his fit throwing I lose my temper and say "fix it yourself" and hang up. Of course he calls back, wondering if we are going to work things out I answer and he says "fine I will" and hangs up.
So, all three of my blood-family groups have been fucktards today (although my parents less so – they didn't say anything or do anything bad, they just didn't follow through). Why is it the only family around me that doesnt piss me off is my non-blood family whom I am feeling closer to then my blood.
on a side note, my mom just woke up and called me, my parents don't intentionally fuck around, just sometimes they get too "involved" in partying and fuck up. Things are good with them, but this is all just so frustrating.
Never have I ever asked my siblings for anything, its that much more frustrating (not a dime, not a ride, nothing)

Anxiety, Insomnia and a Weird day.

Well here it is, 4am and I have just woke up with an anxiety attack/weird dreams. Even though its about other things I am sure the anxiety attack/waking up/insomnia is because its awfully warm, because my caffiene addiction hasn't been satiated and because I am worried about my grades.

I had a weird day yesterday. Woke up from weird dreams, got up and puttered around the house with a food hangover and waited for my sister to show up to pick up the mattress. Of course she was  late but this was expected. She showed up with my little brother Derek and we commenced trying to move the queen size mattress into my sister's van. It was rather like keystone cops, the rain was pouring down, gusts of wind up to 45mph (not joking) and it took us over 20 minutes to get it into the van, in the end I got stuck between the seat and the van but managed to after some time slip out of the seat. Fortunately <lj site="" user="heresyoftruth"> was laughing too much to remember to get the camera until it was over.
So we traveled down to my parent's neighbor (who we are taking the mattress to for free just to get it out of my house). We spend another ten minutes wiggling it out of the van with much carnage and in the wind and rain we finally got it to our neighbor's porch. Right in front of our neighbor's porch is an extremely smooth area, my feet being wet made it a slippery ride and I ended up twisting my ankle (still hurts too).
Upon completion we went over to my parents for awhile, ankle hurting, cold, wet and rainy. Being a non-smoker of course all the smoke in the room came to me and  my allergies kicked up. Then me and  Derek decided to go see Gothika, we have my sister drop me and him off at the "mall" area (not an actual indoor mall, just where the theater, foodstore, rite-aid were). After going to the grocery store,  picking up snacks we went and bought tickets and waited in the lobby of the theater.We were told that the room wasn't ready yet and we waited, by the time the moview was supposed to start we had heard the movie place workers talking about blood, someone bleeding, they had called the cops, etc. It seemed like something was going down. About 10 minutes later as many people waited to go see the movie in the lobby they decided to cancel the movie. I was pretty unhappy due to the fact we had spent over an hour total waiting for the movie, we would have to wait another 30 minutes for the bus and then another 30 minute bus ride. What a waste of a day. We would have just gone to a later showing but we had a CS match that evening (last night, which we won by the way).
So fast forward us at the bus stop, we had been there over 15 minutes in the howling rain/wind. Then along comes two drunks. a drunk white guy and his Indian woman. So drunk off thier ass they could barely walk (and when they got to the bus stop they just reeked of alcohol and were drinking some Steel Reserve, nasty. Then I looked down and noticed the guy was bleeding like a stuck pig from his hand, I am not talking a little blood, seriously his white shoes were almost a solid red across the top of them. He refused to listen to his wife/girlfriend about covering the cut and he just tossed a large white set of tissues that were crimson over most of the tissues themselves. I asked them if they had been to the theater and they smiled and said yes, they went and saw Gothika earlier in the day. So here was the reason I had wasted almost an hour before the "Movie" and now another hour after the movie due to its being cancelled.
The bus arrived, Derek told the bus driver that the guy behind us was drunk and bleeding. She refused to let him on board and told him he needed to take care of a bleeding injury like that because it was a bio-hazard. I shit you not, he was still bleeding like a stuck pig (drinking alcohol tends to make you bleed more, guess he had a lot of alcohol). Well eventually he and his girlfriend left but the bus driver had to stay where she was while she cleaned up all the blood he had leaked on the front entrance to the bus (the hand rail, the steps, the door). So she was almost  15 minutes late getting back on route because of the same asshole that made me not see my movie. And people wonder why I dont drink.
Well later that night we played Counter-Strike as our first match known as the Bad News Bears (first 5v5 match at least) we won and that was good.
Then Derek (who was staying the night) found out my sister did have his money she borrowed but he had to go out to her, so he had to leave (and couldnt spend the night because of it) because my sister wont necessarily have the money if he waits. So it screws our plans up to see the movie. A perfect ending for a weird day full of disaster "Bradley Style".
You will notice that my post has become very short at the end of the last two paragraphs. Thats because I am now exhausted and am going back to bed and seeing if I can sleep a couple of hours.

Early Wakeup

Well woke up just before 5am, due to anxiety dreams about my parents getting old and dying (and me getting old and being alone). I been having these on and off all fall. I think its partially because I am not working and worried about money.

Partially I think my subconcious is mourning that I will never have kids. Dont get me wrong, I am totally happy with just me and the wife but society pounds the whole idea of must having kids into your head so much I think this is one of the reasons why I have the dreams.
I also believe its because of school. I am stressed about my math class, and I am stressed that this is taking so long. I am sooo tired of hours of study but not a dime in paycheck :).
The final reason I think I am getting the dreams is for the first time in over a decade my parents are taking care of themselves. Before this they always needed money, or help or something, but for the last 3 months they have been doing better then me and my wife. LOL its almost the same thing parents go through when thier kids dont need thier help, grow up and move away.
Nevermind me, just rambling.


Well just had to post that my CS Team Innsmouth Taint had a solid victory last night (15-9) against another clan called Wasted. We had excellent CT's strats and decent T strats. In the end we had won about halfway through the second half so then we ended up just playing for fun (we had already reached 13 round wins) so our score would have been better but for the last 5 rounds we just screwed around.

I got a good feeling, honestly I didn't expect us to win because the whole team had not practiced together at all and a couple members (me included) have only played an hour or two at the most in the previous week. It just gelled together well.
I had a different clan mate scold me for not having our team practice but honestly I dont care if my team wins or losses (I normally am always stuck on the "bad news bears" of whatever league I play in) I am just happy to play. I think our overall relaxed attitude is what helped us because in the beginning Wasted started winning but it didn't bother us and soon we were taking the rounds. Sorry it probably seems lame to most of you to joyously be happy, but I am old and this is my only recreation ūüôā
On other news my father goes in for neck surgery today. They have to carve a hunk of hip bone off of him to replace a vertebrae. Now I know working in the medical field that this is a standard procedure but it still tweaks me out. I will go to my two classes today and then head straight over to the hospital. I really would just like a whole day off, yesterday was one of my long school days (8 hours) then I had to go to my niece's 6th birthday party then I had a clan match then I had to do a ton of homework, now today is starting out just as busy, this sucks.

Feeling like crap

This morning I woke up feeling like shit physically, mentally and emotionally. I probably will call the boys in a little bit and cancel hanging out. I think I got a cold, combine that with the shit my sister pulled and the stress I am feeling about my dad being in jail all in all makes me a nasty guy at the moment.

I hate the world and I am just hoping someone gives me lip so I can beat them into the ground (ok I wont, and I know thats a bad thing, but thats the crappy mood I am in).
I am a little stressed about our car situation, its not for me or the wife, we both do fine without a car, its my mom, she has some major surgical stuff coming up and my dumbass meth-head sister is never reliable to her or my dad. I get worried on how she will get places. I probably wont try and get the car fixed, its just something I am a little fixated on and worried about.
I have thought about it and I have to put my tattoo off til at least March (unless I get a job before then, then I can spend money on Tats). I do have the money in my pocket for the outlining of it, but I dont feel I can contribute that money for it, <lj site="" user="girlygoat">'s back is hurting and she is saving up for a mattress that will help, and honestly as far as priorities go she is my ultimate number one priority, I would drop anything in my life for her needs and would kill someone for her if it was needed (and there are people out there rolling thier eyes about that, lol its funny because its true). I lucked out when I found someone to be so devoted to that she doesn't take advantage of it. She needs a good mattress and her feeling better physically means she is happier which in the end makes me happier (improves her moods, we get along better and hell if her back is not hurting sex isn't such a hard thing to come by hehe).
I am also slightly frustrated with my clan, dont get me wrong I have a reliable core (Yog, Astarte, Deep One, Tsathoggua, Nng and a couple of others) but the rest only bitch about wanting admin access and how they try to split hairs on the requirements for the clan. I have the strongest urge to go through and fire 50% of the clan just to par it down, but I wont. I feel I need to do it right and give them every opportunity to show me they want to be in it for any other reason then admin access on the public server. If finances are poor next quarter they will be surprised when I reduce the server to a 12 man private server for matches only, Some would say but "Lilith is already paying for a 12 man private server" but if I reduced it down I would have her stop paying as I think its my responsibility to provide the server and no sense in having two private servers unless we branched out into DoD (which I wouldnt mind). On a good note practices have been extremely good, a large turnout and people seem excited about the upcoming competitions. I think Nng is right, I am too nice sometimes, maybe I will cut that back.
As for the rest of my personal life in this crappy mood I am in consists mostly of C++ projects and ASP.Net projects (which when I learn ASP will rock, because then I can program a database for Dying Light that is self updating and completely set up so anyone can access thier characters on the internet, buy thier own skills and print out thier own tags before game. Thus reducing Logistics to new players and me maintaining the database and ensuring no errors occur. WOOOT totally automated and accurate logistics I can not even imagine that.
Well Crappiness is still with me, better contact the boys.

Dad in Jail

Well, its Saturday afternoon and I am exhausted. 

Its been a long week for me. I found out December 30th that my dad got busted for old DUI warrants from 4 1/2 years ago and now he is in jail. On top of this the next day he went before the one judge in all of the county that hates his guts (the judge specifically reversed the order of the cases so my dad would go last, even the Bailiff was a little wierded out about how the judge did that), not only that but this was the last day this judge would be around, he was retiring starting the next day. Not only did he slap 1.5 times the normal bail, he then turned around, doubled it again and told the court that my father could not use a bailbond for his bail, he would have to post with cash only.
Now even with all these hiked up numbers it comes to only $7,000 but no one in my family has that kind of money so my dad sits in jail. I got to visit him today, actually he was much better looking then he has for awhile. They dont allow smoking or drinking in jail so my dad is starting to feel better (he has emphysema but keeps smoking like a chimney). He looks healthier and he has a lot of his old energy. I am pretty sure that in the end this is the best thing that could have happened to him because it gets his past behind him and now he will deal with the results and move on.
It was a pain in the butt to go visit though, I hate jails (when I was a kid he got in a lot of fights and was in jail a good amount of the time) and of course this brought back all the old memories. I have been black mooded all day and probably mostly due to this experience (anticipating the trip to  visit my father in jail). Well its over now, I feel remarkably better, he seemed happier if you could believe it. Don't get me wrong, my dad is an awesome guy, he just likes his alcohol alot (probably the biggest reason I dont drink, alcoholism runs in the family pretty badly). He is pretty intent on quitting drinking and smoking (which may sound like something anyone would say when in this situation but he normally will not admit to quitting anything longer then "a few weeks" this is the first time in a long long time he has told me he intends on quitting permanently).
So on the way home I used some saved up money, bought two steaks, some salad makings and some mushrooms to use with the steak and I plan on cooking <lj site="" user="girlygoat"> some dinner later tonight, too exhausted to do it right now. Maybe I will go play some CS.
I am getting heavy eyelid syndrome so I will sign off now, everyone have a good day.

Self Absorbancy of People

Well I woke up this morning and am getting ready to go to a friend’s play that he has been practicing on for the last 3 months. I found out that the other friends in the group have made absolutely no effort to get tickets to go to the play. This got me to thinking of what different people consider friendship and what is important to them. I am going to cut the majority of this post because I already know its probably going to be long. Don’t read it unless you want to hear a rant and those that are involved should beware of the rant as well and not take it too personally (or maybe they should).

Well here is the whole of the story. Our friend has been doing practices and recitals for this play for what seems like months now. He has been working his ass off and has been obviously excited about doing it. He asked the five of us to go to the play (the whole group of friends) several weeks ago, me and the wife were both extremely interested. A third friend of ours had to work but was as well interested. However we have two friends who showed just as much interest as goat and me. Yet today I found they have not bothered to secure tickets or even try. Its not that the cant afford it, there was a free showing on Friday if it was a matter of money and they also could have asked me and I would have helped out just so we could go see our friends play. 
In fact I would lay odds that all they did yesterday was play video games and sit in the house. I get confused by this, I have learned from a small child that if you claim someone as your friend and if they become involved in an activity that is obviously important to them, that you should make an attempt to go to the play, sports activity or whatever they do. Obviously this is not the same view shared by everyone. I know for a fact that if one of the two who blew off our friend J. (name not completed to protect the innocent) had a show (he is a singer) I would have made every attempt to go to his show as well. Yet the two of them have made no effort to my knowledge of going to J's play. 
Now don’t get me wrong, if either of them had anything important to do I would have understood but neither of them works, and to my knowledge they had no family obligations they had to attend. Yet they totally blow off a mutual friend's event. 
Honestly this got me thinking about things that have occurred over the past few months. These two friends on a normal basis blow off doing things, or more often then that they will tell me they will be somewhere and I usually end up having to call them up and wake them a half an hour after they were supposed to have met me. 
Yes sometimes it’s one or the other's faults but generally neither of them has the sense to at least call me and cancel. 
The very frustrating part about this is that I will wait for them for hours past when they say they will be there. They don’t bother to call me and the only way I can confirm they are not coming is by calling them. Funny thing is I always get excuses like, “I didn’t wake up”,“I was playing Counter-Strike”, “I was playing Battlfield 1942”,“I was playing DAOC”, “I was tired of driving in traffic”, “I was picking my nose and it took a long time”. Well ok that last comment was never made but they almost absolutely ever call to say they are not coming over so we sit and wait while they get absorbed in whatever little thing they are doing. Actually I can only think of twice in the last year and a half that they have called me to say they would be late.
Another example of my frustration is with our online CS clan. Everyone wanted to be in  a competitive league that is operated much like a sports league. So the decision was made that people who want in need to play on the server at least 7 hours a week and attend at least one practice a week so we can get good and actually do well in this league. Both of these people are in the clan I run. They know I put a lot of money into the server on a monthly basis and that all I ask is for them to play 7 hours a week on it and to try and make practices (they do sometimes make practices). Yet they constantly get caught up doing other things, which honestly is fine if they would just tell me to my face they are not interested in the clan, but they don’t do that. A week ago this Sunday is a prime example. Here is a short rendition of the conversation we had.
Catholic Sin: Heya Friend 1, you know you only got 2 hours of CS in this week, you really need to at least try and get 7 in by server update tonight.
Friend 1: What? But I just bought Battlefield 1942
Catholic Sin: But I got to treat you like everyone else in the clan, you have had a full week, you don’t work, and you only had 2 days of school. Could you please at least try to make the 7 or if you are not interested tell me, we have been trying to organize for weeks and you haven't made your quota in two weeks?
Friend 1: I guess I could try it.
Catholic Sin: Great, thanks.
Of course in the end Friend 1 never even attempted to do anything and just smiled at me when I asked him about it. It really pisses me off that he didn’t even think anything about it and didn’t have the balls to tell me he wasn't going to do it when I asked him about it.
Also a lot of the time it felt like they were using my friendship with them in order to get away with behavior that I would have booted out others for. Hell after a specific match when BOTH of them just totally ignored me I had several members of the clan asking why don’t I just kick them out. I explained they are personal friends and I am sure they didn’t mean it that way. However several of our clan members believed they were taking advantage of the friendship and I sometimes wonder that myself.
Actually I am rambling a bit, let me sum this up in a concise way.
1. I believe if a friend is in need, or is doing something that s/he considers important and wants me there to watch, that it is my duty as a friend to try everything in my power to help them or attend the event or whatever, as long as more pressing duties on me are not there.
2. I notice some friends follow this idea, J I am positive would be there if I asked him for help or for him to do stuff with me that was important.
3. I notice some friends only do this if its convenient for them, however if they want to play a computer game or sleep, or even pick their noses they put that above what they promise someone else. They just don’t show the same values for friendship.
I have a whole rant of theories on why they are different in their behavior then me, goat, and J. I will probably go more into that later since I have to head out for J’s play.  
Well needless to say I am pissed that J's friends other then me and the wife blew off our friends play.
My only hope is I will be surprised and see them at the play and it will prove this rant isn't as factual is it is now. But somehow I bet they will be home playing Battlefield 1942 and DAoC
It just pisses me off that people become so self absorbed with their own petty shit that they cant take into account what's important to their friends.
update 7/19/2012: Catholic Sin is one of the names I went by a long time ago, I thought I would clarify that now.