Memory: Leather Coats

Yesterday the hubby and I went to see Atomic Blonde, which we did enjoy. However, during the movie James McAvoy is wearing a leather coat, which for some reason sparked a memory that bothered me a lot.

A few years before my father’s death we were up visiting them and we noticed he didn’t have a nice coat. Unfortunately this was after my parents were financially bereft and they couldn’t afford to buy something. We decided we would keep an eye out for something he could wear that would look nice and would be something he would like.

It was about that time that Wolsey had a leather jacket, not a biker leather jacket but one of those cut and styled from the late 70s or early 80s. Something that was just in the perfect wheelhouse of fashion that my dad liked. The late 70s and into the 80s was my dad’s decade (even though for him he was in his thirties then). Wolsey had decided he didn’t want it and presented it to my dad as a gift. My dad thought it was great. He was wearing it around for a little while, that is until my brother was a douche one day.

One day, my brother decided to make fun of the jacket, saying it was a girl’s jacket. The only reason I can think that he would think that is because it wasn’t a biker leather jacket. I am not sure how he thought it was a girl’s jacket, maybe because he knew Wolsey gave it to him, or he forgot that there are other jacket styles but the now overdone biker jacket. I am sure my brother was trying to just rib my dad, but it came out as a dick move, and sadly my dad never wore that jacket again. He put it away, then eventually gave it away. Even though we told my dad it looked great and it didn’t look like a girl’s jacket.

To this day I am still really pissed at my brother for that. I didn’t realize it would take a movie to remind me of that memory.

Delayed Death

I used to write down all my dreams, and there was some awesome sources for RPG games (also let me see what I was stressed out about). I figured I would try again.

Last night I dreamt a close friend named Sean died. I spent most of the dream with Jello looking through his stuff trying to figure out what happened. There were a lot of other people there, but they kept trying to walk off with his stuff. I spent a long time trying to keep people from grabbing things and running until we got his will read. (Sean you do have a will right?).

There were a lot of little details about a specific game Sean had been developing, and indications that it was something more. It was really clear in the dream, but unfortunately this long after waking up it has all blended together. There was something about how whatever Sean was working on let people survive as corporeal ghosts until the day ended (for the world, not for the current location).

I remember being incredibly sad in the dream, Sean is a little brother to me, and while I don’t get to see him as much as I used to it would be a horrific event if something happened to him.

I then walked out of his house and found myself in my old trailer that Jello and I owned. I was in the living room, the evening sun was streaming in and I found my little brother Derek setting up the video game in the same location that the computer he used all those years ago in that room. He looked up and me and asked if I would help him set up the game. I started setting up the game but something was wrong.

He smiled at me a little sadly and said he had until sunset in Spain before he passed on (which was just an hour or two from the dream time, even though I know logically Spain’s sunset is not the same time as our own). I realized that whatever Sean had been working on allowed Derek to stay around for awhile. I hadn’t been able to see Sean in the extra time he had, but I could see Derek. It was weird to hear my little brother I grew up with tell me he was dead and would be gone in a few hours and he wanted to play some video games on his way out.

I woke up at that, freaked out that Derek and Sean were dead. It was a rough morning.


Strange dreams all night, the one with the most impact had me sitting in a burned out house, in the dark, and talking to my stillborn brother.

That hit hard.

It started with me sitting in what appeared to be a war torn area (or maybe super impoverished like Detroit, the destruction is similar).

It was cold, wet and dark out with sirens in the distance. I couldn’t really see much in front of me, just a cold mustiness with flashes of cop lights in the distance.

I was talking with someone a bit younger than me. I honestly don’t remember what I was saying, just that it was heavy.

I couldn’t see him clearly, and he kept listening. After I had finished it was silent for a few minutes. I could feel him lean forward and touch my arm, I think it was meant reassuringly. That is when I recognized who he was and I snapped wide awake laying in bed beside jello.

Normally that isn’t the brother I dream about. Normally it’s “Bear”, my actual living brother I talk with sometimes.

Dream definitely set me off in a weird mood today.

Meatloaf Experience Part 1

This is an abbreviated version, with how annoyed I am, I am sure I will post more on each detail in the future. I am going to break it up into readable parts though.

Background: First, as a bit of background I have grown up to the tunes of Meat Loaf. Yes, I like him, yes he does cause anxiety when I hear his music on occasion. He is a favorite singer my parents listened to, especially when they were on a full drunk binge. So while I like his music (a lot), it does give me a bit of hesitation to consider going to see him. However, I really do like his music.

Prologue: About a month ago my brother asked me to go see Meat Loaf. I explained I wasn’t too sure due to money and the fact it was the weekend before Dying Light (combined with J and T’s wedding and them coming up the weekend before that and the DL before that I wont have a full weekend off in a month). So I declined. I then get a call a week later from my parents. They were on a binge (its a lot rarer these days but it does still happen, at least my dad doesn’t go beat the crap out of cops anymore).  I got a full night of calls from them pleading with me to go with my Brother and my Sister to see Meat Loaf, to do it “for them” since they aren’t able to go due to health reasons. I eventually said fine. Now, I am fine with seeing Meat Loaf, but I knew then this wouldn’t end pretty and due to family guilt I was trapped. However, [ profile] ethicalcannibal avoided the situation and said no, however poor [ profile] finnegwyn decided to come as moral support for me.

Event 1: About two weeks ago we discover its more than the siblings and one friend/significant other. Another friend of my brother decides to come. We all hesitate, but fine, my brother’s friend has been around my family for 15 years and we know him so its good. Then about a week ago my brother’s friend’s girlfriend decides to come. Even more uncomfortable but fine. Then 4 days ago we find out that my brother’s GF has decided to ship all six of them from Bellingham (the concert is in Snoqualmie, 120 miles from Bellingham, 50 miles from Everett). The plan is to meet at my house, go to IHOP then head out.


Event 2: I am waiting with [ profile] ethicalcannibal for my family to arrive. Of course my wife isn’t going, but we are hanging. [ profile] talkswithwind shows up to start working on boffer weapons (YAY!!). Finally [ profile] finnegwyn shows up. I find out my family is running late and so I am a bit anxious. I get a call at 2pm (the time they are supposed to be here) from my sister. Evidently my brother’s girlfriend had rear-ended a suburban. No one was hurt, but the Taurus wasn’t drivable. I go and ferry all six people to my house (it happened at exit 198, about 8 miles from my house) in two loads. 

I should have stopped the whole situation here. There are nine people going, and only my car. I shouldn’t have even allowed discussion on options. If I have learned something vital from this situation, its to not keep quiet. For the next two hours there is a weird on again/off again discussion of if we are going to drive them back to Bellingham or try to keep going to the concert. This included the idea that my brother’s friend’s girlfriend would go up to Bellingham, get her car, drive down and help haul everyone to the concert. When the concert was over we would both transport everyone to my house and then she would make two trips to Bellingham to drop everyone off. Something sounded off about this and more talk continued. 

I do set up my brother and his girlfriend with my Triple AAA so they can tow the car back. The plan (after considering rentals, even of renting an U-Haul passenger van) was that two people would ride back with the Tow Truck driver, 1 would ride back with [ profile] talkswithwind and the rest with me.This seems to be the decision and from what I can see probably the best decision. Maybe we would go see “The Expendables” when we got up there. 


Yet…. as can be seen by the title, that was not the final bit (will continue on another post, so I don’t kill you with too much text).