No Escape (2015)

The most racist movie filled with the whiniest family to ever family in the movies.

I admit, my family experiences with guns, violence and actual life and death situations probably makes me less forgiving of the family then others. The children constantly whine, cry and are useless. If this truly was how humans were, we would have died out millenia ago. This isn’t what I have seen children do in real life. They react pretty quickly and are capable of things in high stress situations that I think most Americans don’t realize.

The worst thing about the family itself, out of all the crying, inability to stay quiet or to listen to their parents the fact that Owen Wilson carries his smaller daughter pretty much the entire time is the thing I focused on for some reason. Let’s not even talk about how impossible physically that would be for him to carry her. I am a very large, strong man and I can tell you that would last about 10 minutes. The worst part is the child is physically capable, you are endangering her and yourself by slowing both of you down carrying her EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU WALKED DOWN A STREET, it was just super annoying and I just wanted to scream at the tv.

The attempted rape scene, and make the kid try and kill her father scene were some of the most lazy writing I have ever seen. I have issues with rape scenes to begin with. They are almost never really part of the story, rather they are a lazy way for the writers to make the bad guy even badder, and the man a hero (almost never is the woman a hero because of it). People have done way better writing on then I, so I won’t go too much further.

For the racism part, I can’t even begin to cover how racists the movie was. The whole comment when they arrive in the city is how they are in the “Fourth World” not even the “Third World” is such a bigoted, privileged point of view that isn’t even right. The USA is not the best in technology, not the best in internet, hell it isn’t the best in food or happiness index. We pretty much are only best in military and as a western country, pushing our religion (both are horrible by the way). The treatment of another country in the stereotypical tropes we “assume” other countries are like and how those people act is pretty repulsive. There is a whole slew of other racist things, but the review doesn’t merit a huge in depth discussion.

I do have to say I was surprised that Vietnam was the positive thing in this movie. It was for only thirty seconds, but it was nice to see.

The good: Pierce Brosnan and Vietnam.

The bad: The entire family, but especially the wife and daughters. I kept hoping they would fall off the building.

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