Stress Ball

coffeeThis last couple of weeks have been rough, especially this week. I am sure it is a conglomeration of worry about my parents, about my husband’s graduation, my job, etc. I just haven’t slept more then five hours a night (even though I work from home three days a week).

Take for example today, everything was going great. I wrapped up work and took Jello to a movie, then was heading to dinner when I get a call and email from work. One of the employers I audited and found owing over 20k in taxes is freaking out. He has called lawyers, a newspaper, etc and trying to call me out. He is doing anything he can to avoid having to pay. Fortunately I know I did everything correct. However, being an investigator/auditor on businesses that are avoiding tax (whether intentionally or unintentionally) means I don’t have a popular job, even though I think it a much needed job and I have found several MILLION dollars in unreported wages in last six months. Obviously my position is needed when fraud and tax avoidance are so common.

Normally I would instinctively worry about my job. When newspapers call, people are shouting and my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss has to get info from me I worry (yes that puts the person around second or third man in our state capital). That happened Monday afternoon, then today it was only my boss’s, boss’s boss (Director of our department) that needs info. However, all three bosses above me have reassured me that nothing is untoward, that this is normal cause of problems.

So rationally I know my bosses like me, they think I am doing fine and there are no problems. However, the little hamster in my head still freaks out. It shuts me down where I don’t want to do anything except hide as I freak out that I am going to be unemployed soon (contrary to what happened at the county, I know logically that this isn’t going to happen).

The overall issue, is this results in becoming a stress ball. I am tired of being a stress ball.

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