Messed up

I am  not sure of all the specifics, but I had a dream I woke up from about 15 minutes ago. It entailed me living with my parents, their animals, my siblings and I think even my wife. It was a house on the corner of two streets, and I kept thinking we all need to move pretty quick. It was a bad neighborhood and I was just worried. Through a series of small events all the animals died (different reasons) and then my mother died outside the house. I tried so desperately to stop it all, but  for some reason I couldn't. I could only watch her die outside the house slowly (thankfully I can't remember  how, but I don't think it was bloody). Then the remainder of the dream I kept trying to explain to my father specifically (and my family in general, including [livejournal.com profile] heresyoftruth that I really was sorry for not doing it right and not moving in time from the corner house).

I woke up pretty freaked out, had to get up and clear my head. I am pretty sure the neighborhood part is my anxiety over where we live and my fear for my mother has to do with her health and my not living close by.

Maybe I can go back to bed now, there is something about the months of November-January that gets me worried. It gets worse up until Christmas and then lightens up by mid-January I think.

Maybe I should move to a desert and get away from it being so dark all the time.
 

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