Ok, I have had about my last dream of being poor (dreamed all night that we were living under a bridge, lol this probably has something to do with the wife's rant). I am tired of not being able to buy my wife decent things. I am tired of not supplying her with the stuff she needs to sew. I am tired of looking in the fridge and wondering what the hell are we going to eat now and in general I am frigging tired of no money.
This may seem random but for almost two years now I have been a student, lived on loans and been poor as shit. I am tired of the fact that we dont have a car because we are too poor (dont get me wrong, going to school we have found we dont need the car and we get along well without it, but I am tired as hell of being stuck in a house on sundays and anytime after 6pm).
I am tired of finals, I am tired of 18 year olds that I have to listen to who tell me how they have seen life. they haven't seen shit. I am tired of teachers that dont give a damn, dont help thier students and in general are just fucked up.
I am tired of having to save up so once a month me and sage can go to Denny's. I am tired of not being able to repair my computer. I am tired of my teeth fucking falling apart and I dont have the money to do anything about it. I am tired of everyone telling me "you only have two more years, (ya right, its closer to 3). I am tired of inlaws that are freaked out at me, I am tired of sisters that only call me up to use me. I am tired of friends who end up owing me money and weeks later still cant finish paying me.
Funny thing is I have gotten my forth notice from the military trying to get my interest (lol I would figure they dont want a 31 year old, chunky out of shape guy, but I guess they get desperate). I have seriously considered this. I am sure <lj site="livejournal.com" user="girlygoat"> doesn't think I take it serious (I have) but right now I am sooo tired of not having a steady paycheck, I am soo tired of cranking out 12,000 of debt every year and I am sooo tired of not being able to afford shit.
I am seriously considering at this moment of going down to part time (6 credits a quarter – so I dont have to start paying back loans and I can continue my education at a slower pace) and going to work full time so we dont have to borrow any more money from the government and so we can afford to go out to eat, buy things we want and have some enjoyment. I am too damn old for this shit to be this poor and not try and fix it.
I am also damn tired of everyone telling me to not stress, by far this fucking pisses me off the most. They dont have to live in my mind or my situation, most of these people can always go back to mommy and daddy, yet for some perverse reasons the gods have decided to have me born into a family that i have to support. Unlike every fricken one else that i know. They all have parents they can borrow from or at the very least the parents are able to take care of themselves. Me, I am born into a family where I have to support my fricken parents because years of drug and alcohol abuse have fucked them up, thier bodies and thier minds. dont get me wrong I love them and thats why I try and support them when I can (and when I make enough money to buy land I will move them on to it) because I do believe in taking care of them, but I get soo damn tired of everyone else just patting me on the back and saying they understand. No they dont, lying pieces of shit.
I am friggen tired of being poor, at this exact moment I am not sure what I am going to do, but I need to alleviate our money problems.
Sorry, I am going to stop now because now I am just winding up tighter and getting angrier and its not something you guys deserve.